Mothers Day 2020

Every year on Mother’s Day, many people will experience their first Mother’s Day with their mother no longer with them.

For me, that day was today.

Every year, I tried my best to find something that would convey in some small way, the gratitude for her selfless devotion to our family through difficult times. Mum was a battler. Having lost her first child at the age of 18 months and then to witness her heartbreak at losing my youngest sister at the age of 29, I cannot fathom how she managed to keep going taking hit after hit. Up until her final breath last Winter Mum never stopped loving her kids. I was so glad that Mum could spend her final years here in the bay, away from the crowded seclusion of Sydney life. With Mum safely nearby, I was able to share photos with her and take her to some of the many beaches for lunches.

Some weeks ago, a local from the bay, a person I had never met before, did a favour for me and when I tried to give him $50 as a thank you, he just asked me to give it to a charity - in other words, pay it forward.

With isolation very much a part of everyone’s life, my thoughts were immediately drawn to the elderly in nursing homes, who at a stage in their life where they treasure every visit they get from their beloved relatives, were put into lockdown to protect them from the pandemic that has crippled the world. I could only imagine what it must be like to be trapped in a place where, through no fault of their own, they were unable to venture outside the safety of their nursing home, nor receive visitors.

I had $50 to spend, and I wanted to use it to make a difference to these people, but $50 these days isn’t going to go too far.

I remember back when Mum was raising four kids on her own, how she somehow always managed to make do on a meagre living, working as a cleaner to make ends meet. We grew up with home-made clothes and simple home-cooked meals, because that was our lot in life. I looked at other kids with their brand label clothing, never realising the true value of the hand-made clothes my mother so lovingly made. Mum always went without to make our lives more bearable.

I wanted to do the same for the residents of the nursing homes to let them know that there are people in the community who do care about them and I had $50 to make that happen.

So I started a fundraiser.

With Mother’s Day fast approaching and the very real possibility that these frail people would have to face a Mother’s day without their loved ones around them.

This could be a time when as a community, the people of the bay could let these people know how special they are and create a memorable occassion at a time when circumstances prevent them from enjoying the day in their twilight years. The community high tea for nursing home residents became my passion.

In two days, we raised $1200 on Facebook which would be divided between the local nursing homes for Mother’s Day. I contacted each of the nursing homes and let them decide the best way to show their residents the care of the community through the money raised.

In addition, over 120 individually addressed personally handwritten postcards complete with a personal Mothers day message were given to the residents of one of the nursing homes, signed on behalf of “The people of Port Stephens”. It was a simple gesture to remind them that although they may feel isolated, the thoughts of the community were very much with them in this troubled time.

For Mum’s last Mother’s Day, I gave her a photo book I had made for her, with images from around the bay showing her the beauty of the area she was living in. She loved it.

This year for Mother’s day, while I couldn’t physically give her a gift, I did manage to find the beauty of the area we live in- not with a camera, but with the generosity of spirit that makes up our community.

I was honoured to be invited to attend the high tea put on at Uniting Care Salamander Bay, and after going through the process of ensuring my vaccinations were up to date, I am able to provide these pictures of the day.

The dedication of the staff at our local nursing homes is amazing. Our elderly citizens in our local nursing homes are receiving the very best of care and the tireless dedication of the staff is inspiring.

This was my first Mother’s Day without Mum, and God, I miss her so much, but through this adventure, I realise that the greatest gift any Mum can receive is to be the son she hoped I would become.

I learned from this adventure that you don’t always need a camera to capture the hidden beauty that lies deep within the hearts of the community. I will, however, leave you with these pictures that are the result of what we as a community achieved together.

If like me, you are going through your first Mother’s day without your Mother, I hope you found comfort in some way as I have through this amazing experience.

Thank you to all of you who made this possible. You really are the beauty that is the heart and soul of the bay. Your kindness made this happen.

Lesley Holzmann

Verity Fannin Chappell

Ryan Palmer

Uschi Nagel

Melinda Sporer

Michelle Roberts Hassan

Tracey Leroy

Simon Hillel

Debra O’Neill

Glenn O’Neill

Ros Ward

Karen Jones

Tracy Rigby

Henk Tobbe

Ben Petersson

Donna Gallagher

Suze Crompton

Karen Barnard

Kellie Paton

Steve Johnston

Mos Dee

Amanda Pilgrim

Carol Compton

Mitchell Affleck

With a special shout out to

Anne Crawford-Nutt and In-Jae Kim who did an amazing job with the handwriting of the cards.

Happy Mother’s Day Mum.